Balancing act: Jaco does her best at being both mom to newborn and coach to Highland girls

LEWISTOWN, Mo. — The 24-hour period from when Ashton Jaco woke up on Nov. 30 through the morning of Dec. 1 was possibly the most eventful and memorable of her life.

The Highland girls basketball coach guided the Cougars to a 55-31 victory over Belleville Althoff in Quincy on Nov. 30, although she hadn’t expected to still be coaching. Expecting her and her husband Trevor’s second child — a girl named Emerson to join older brother Judson — Jaco was already four days past the due date.

“We were all shocked,” Jaco said. “I don’t know if the girls were taking bets, but they were like, ‘Oh, Coach is going to have her baby this day,’ and they were all wrong. I was wrong. I knew I was going to be early, then the due date came and the baby’s not here yet.”

The Nov. 26 due date — a Tuesday — just happened to be the day of the Cougars’ first game of the season, a 57-40 win over Kirksville.

Until she had the baby, though, Jaco was going to keep coaching.

“I just kept coaching, going to practice, which was kind of nice because it kept my mind off the fact that I haven’t had this baby yet,” Jaco said. “We had Thanksgiving, then we had practice on Friday, and we played Saturday (against Belleville Althoff). That whole day I didn’t feel great, but at the same time, I’m like 40 weeks pregnant. Nobody’s going to feel great.”

Then the moment came.

“I went home and just started to feel not as good, then 10 o’clock hit, the first contraction starts, and it’s like, ‘OK, I think that’s the real deal,’” Jaco said. “Then Emerson was born the next morning at 4:55.”

Jaco missed the Cougars’ next game on Dec. 3 against Louisiana, which the Cougars won 49-42.

“I watched the game on Tuesday, and it was all I could do to just watch it at home in my recliner,” Jaco said.

As she started to feel better and regain her strength, the idea of coaching the Cougars’ Dec. 5 road game against Liberty became a real possiblity.

“I had told my husband Wednesday, ‘If I feel like it, I want to try and go tomorrow,’” Jaco said.

Jaso recalled the conversation she and Trevor had the day of that game.

“Thursday came, and I’m kind of mulling around in my head, ‘Should I go? Should I not?’” Jaco said. “And he’s like, ‘Well, do you feel like it?’ I was like, ‘Yeah, I feel good,’ and he’s like, ‘OK, then you should go.’”

The decision was made. Trevor stayed home with the couple’s 2-year-old son Judson while Ashton and her parents, Rick and Melissa Luttrull, hopped in the car with Emerson and made the nearly hour-long drive to Liberty where the Cougars won 46-40.

“I think a lot of it was adrenaline because I got home and I just crashed after that,” Jaco said.

The Cougars had another game the next day, this one at home against Hallsville, which they won 58-29 with Jaco on the sideline.

“That makes it a little easier,” Jaco said of playing at home versus on the road. “You just run over to school, you coach, and thankfully I have really good assistants who fill in the gaps for me and help me out in a lot of logistical ways. So there in the beginning, I kind of just showed up and coached, and then went home.”

The Cougars were off Saturday, then Jaco missed practice — understandably — on Sunday.

“I don’t think I’ve missed anything since then,” she said.

Jaco admitted she could easily take the year off from coaching, but she would miss her second family too much, and her husband’s support allows her to keep doing what she loves.

“It would be easy for me to just be like, ‘Oh, we have kids now. Our life is busy, so maybe I don’t coach anymore,’” Jaco said. “It would probably be easy for him to be like, ‘Yeah it would make it easier,’ you know, to not have to do all the things that he does, but he’s willing to do it, and he steps up. It just means a lot to me because that means I’m able to continue to coach, which is something I really love to do.”

She couldn’t do it without her parents, either.

“I think the secret is a really great support system, whether it’s my husband or my parents,” Jaco said. “They live right up the road from us, so they’re willing to help in a variety of ways. If not for them, then I’m not able to do it.

“They make sacrifices. They probably don’t always want to be driving somewhere to a basketball game, but for example, that first game, they drove to Liberty with me. While I’m coaching, they’re taking care of the baby, which I don’t think my mom is really upset about that. I think most grandmas would enjoy holding a newborn or any baby.”

That support extends beyond the basketball gym.

“They’re usually the transportation to and from games, and for practices, a lot of times my mom will come up and watch them at our house while I run to practice,” Jaco said. “Whether it’s that or sometimes she’ll text me or call me and say, ‘Hey, what are you doing for supper?’ and I’m like, ‘I have no idea what we’re doing for supper,’ and she’s like, ‘I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about it,’ just really practical things like that. It’s definitely a family affair when it comes to making this happen. It’s a huge team effort.”

A month in, they have a system down.

“The other night, we went to Louisiana (Mo.), and it’s kind of worked out to keep Judson home with Trevor and he gets some Dad time and gets to bed at a decent time, and we take Emerson,” Jaco said. “I feed her right before, I go coach, (my parents) watch her during the game, then I feed her right after. We’ve kind of got a little system going where we just make it work.”

The Jacos have established “making it work” as a sort of mantra.

“I just said, ‘You know, we’re just going to figure it out, and I’m going to do the best I can,’” Jaco said. “I’ve tried to have a different mindset this time, just giving myself grace, doing the best I can with the situation, and giving everything I have to our kids and Trevor as a family and as a mom, and then also doing the same thing with the girls.”

In doing so, Ashton practices what she preaches to her players.

“I tell our girls every day, ‘Your best doesn’t always look the same, but it’s always good enough. Whatever your best is, that’s what you give,’” Jaco said. “My best might look a little different in this season of life, but I’m just going to give it, and I have to be OK with that because I preach that to the girls that I have to be OK with it, as well.”

The long nights of intermittent sleep that come along with a newborn as well as wrangling a “very active 2-year-old boy” and coaching basketball may stress Jaco out from time to time.

But that also means she gets to keep doing what she loves, both on and off the court.

“I love being a mom and I love being a coach, and I’m glad I get to do both at the same time,” Jaco said.